


Mafia Bodies

by BlackIce_K1lls



Category: No Straight Roads (Video Game)
Genre: Adventure, Attempt at Humor, Crack?, Drinking, Gen, Hetalia References, Musical References, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Possibly OOC, Swearing, World Travel, dont take this seriously, mild headcanons
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:14:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27795190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackIce_K1lls/pseuds/BlackIce_K1lls
Summary: The NSRtists get yeeted from a Switch into 'our' world. With the help of 4 humans, the team tries to regroup and get home. But they find it somewhat challenging when the humans there aren’t exactly normal. Are we sure this is our world?Look, maybe don't think about it too hard and we'll make it through?
Comments: 14
Kudos: 41





	1. Kinda Looking Like That One Scene With Chuuya and Ranpo

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah I don't know how this came into being. Ive been writing most of this under a very tired state and editing it after. Hell, after writing Eve's chapter, I went back to fix some things in this one. I have trouble with keeping things consistent.

"Didn't you say that game is buggy as hell? Why not play it on your laptop?" A girl pointed at a tired kid with her broken arm.

The kid scoffed and readjusted their grip on their Switch. "Laptop's too clunky. Plus I like the challenge."

A lady laughed as she scrolled through her phone. "You always like a challenge. Last body got you in pretty hot water."

A man played with a skateboard, pushing it back and forth with one foot. "I'm not helping you fix that game when it breaks. That version likes to break every 5 minutes."

The kid shrugged. "If it breaks again, I'll just get the Playstation version. Helps out the studio too."

The lady blinked, then frowned. "I'm not paying for it." The kid merely rolled their eyes.

The man near slipped on the skateboard. "Hey Avio, could you grab my bag over there?"

"Sure." The girl grabbed the bag and tossed it hard at the man, who in turn fully slipped, and slammed the skateboard into the kid's Switch.

The lady jumped with a yelp while the kid assessed the damage on their console. "The hell Bob, you owe me a new Switch!" The device had a large crack on the back side, somehow sparking.

The man gestured to the girl. "Don't look at me. Avio was the one who threw my bag."

The lady looked at the damage, hovering a hand over the crack. "Eh, it's not as bad as it seems Deegs. Bob, you can fix this right?"

"Ah, maybe. I might need to look some stuff- Diego, it’s glowing." The man directed his attention from the kid to the console.

The kid, lady, girl, and man got closer to the broken device, then backed their heads away when it started glowing brighter. The lady gestured with her phone. "Those things don't do that. Do they do that? I don't think they do that."

The kid flipped the device fully so that the back faced the sky. "They don't so I take it that it's Bob's fault that it is." The kid sighed and began to grab their case when the console shot up with their hands attached and beams of light burst out of it. A loud cacophony of music blared from the speakers and splashes of color shot far and wide, practically turning the device into a mini beacon. And then it stopped.

The kid sat wide eyed for a moment then handed over their Switch to the lady. "Carm, check it. I need to process what I just witnessed."

The lady blinked, putting her phone down and taking the Switch. "Um.. it looks fine. Maybe get some duct tape and some stickers and bam! Just like new."

The girl scoffed. "Yes Carmen, because all new Switches have 15 layers of paper and sticky gunk on them."

The man scratched the back of his head. "Look, whatever that was, it's probably not important. Just relatively normal stuff for us. Let’s just… go home."

The girl rolled her eyes. "If something weird happens, it’s your fault then."

Now unfortunately, it was important.

-

Tatiana was minding her own business when she found herself shooting through the sky and landing in a forest. Good news, she's alive. Bad news, it’s a forest that’s on fire.

Eve herself was fine, landing in some bushes next to some shop named 'Tim Hortons'. Despite it being summer, it was still cold as fuck.

Mother had shielded Yinu from the brunt of the landing but they luckily ended up in some pillows. Unluckily, they also busted through the roof to land in said pillows and a short man was yelling at them.

DJ Subatomic Supernova wasn't doing so hot, crashing through a window and 2 floors before getting caught in a keg of beer. Then about 5 glasses of the stuff spilled on him. Everyone around him seemed a bit too intoxicated to care.

Neon J and 1010 had landed at some conflict, in which an arbitrary line was drawn between two groups. They were met with guns at their faces and words that they could not understand.

Dodo, Remi, Tila, and Sofa found themselves crowd surfing at a concert, featuring a girl with teal hair in pigtails. Albeit in a language not primarily spoken where they lived, they could understand everything and cheered.

With them all alive and mostly unharmed, one question washed over the artists: Just where in the world are they?

-

Tatiana very obviously needed to get out of here. Lucky for her, fire is more of a deterrent than anything. So she simply walked out of the forest. Unluckily for her, she did not anticipate firemen to start freaking out. It started with meager stares then devolved into unsettling realization. She didn't quite see what was wrong. Tatiana knew that some humans are fireproof and some are not.

That was apparently the problem given that it seemed that she didn't work by this world's laws, as one fireman who seemed to be trying to rationalize (not really) himself by saying that a ghost is haunting them. She wasn't sure why they would think she was a ghost (maybe it's the skin?) but it seemed Tatiana should leave. Quickly.

Preferably fast enough to escape the screaming firemen. So she ran really freaking fast. She chalked it up to people being crazy and left it at that.

Then she slammed into a glass door.

The girl on the other side flinched and turned to presumably call the other residents of the house in. "Yo Bob! This is totally your fault!"

The remaining housemates filed out of the house to check on our fair lady. The girl gave an experimental kick to her arm while a kid asked if she was dead. Tatiana then sprung to life again, weight on her arms and flipping over to see the new faces.

A lady donned in black and red had said color drain from her face. "Oh fuck, Tatiana's real."

"What."

A girl with a cast on her arm honed in on the woman. "I'd thought she'd be taller."

"She's on the ground, idiot." A kid with dark and light skin fiddled with the device in their hands, walking back into the house. 

The girl followed after. "Bob this is so your fault. Diego, check your game!"

A man with cat eyes lent out a hand for her and hoisted her up, Nevermind the fact she hesitated grabbing it. The man sighed. "Sorry about them. And the door. Are you alright?"

Tatiana looked the man up and down properly to gauge his appearance. He seemed to like the color beige on account that it was everywhere on him except his eyes. He wore the most generic clothes (literally a polo with an undershirt and khakis) any man had ever put on. His eyes were of a black cat's falling behind locks of bright blond hair.

He seemed abnormal compared to what fashion she saw in Vinyl City.

"Yes, I am fine." A silence hung over the three. Tatiana cleared her throat and moved on. "And you are?"

"Oh, I'm Bob. The lady over there is Carmen." He pointed to the lady in red.

As stated before she was donned in reds and blacks, well tanned. Her long wavy mahogany hair barely blocked her green eyes. She seemed to wear long black rompers tied with a white string at the hip under a muted red blazer. She wore black heeled boots but didn't seem unfazed by the height it gave her.

What was presumably Carmen was still a bit abnormal looking but it didn't seem to matter, as the lady was staring right at Tatiana with wide open eyes. "Uh…"

"Tatiana right? NSR's CEO? Oh fuck, she's real." She didn't have a chance to respond to the lady before she went on. "Bob… I think something went wrong with Diego's game."

As if right on cue, the kid came back out and yelled for Carmen. "What?"

The kid shoved their device forward and pointed. "Yo, so I checked the game like Avio asked but when I tried to play a cutscene there just weren't any models. Even in their approaches, I can't find them nor do any of the voice lines play and- and- and… Is that Tatiana?"

The kid faltered, turning to the woman. She shifted her eyes. The kid facepalmed. "Okay, we need to take this inside."

-

"I'm from a what." 

The kid, later known as Diego, repeated again. "You're from a video game that focuses on the Rock Revolution in Vinyl City with you as the final boss along with your associates  _ also  _ being from that game." The kid brought up another screenshot from her apparent boss battle on their flat screen TV they apparently had. "Bob probably did something to my physical copy of the game and that caused you to, uh, exist."

This kid looked like they didn't get enough sleep. They were scrawny, barely older than 15, with bags under their eyes laying prominence over their two toned skin. Dressed in oversized clothes of grey, sporting the same shade in their hair that barely made it past their cheeks. The only splash of color on them were their bright eyes and neon logo of a house on their shirt.

Getting close to normal but still somewhat bland. It seemed that people here wore it simple, almost like her. 

It had taken a good few minutes for Tatiana to fully grasp what she is and why the fuck she was from a game so… She cleared her throat. "And the others are where?"

The girl, who was called Avio, shrugged. "I don't fuckin' know."

Avio herself was a step back from Diego. She wore a white polo tucked into a brown poofy skirt that reached her chest, decorated in gold roses. Her generic black bob flanked her face and made her brown eyes stick out from her pale skin. She didn't seem very striking aside from the casts on her right pinky and arm. She looked like she'd like the Natura district.

"Well…" Shifting on the couch she sat on and reaching behind her back, Tatiana brought out a laptop. She stared wide eyed at the thing before speaking. "I don't remember carrying this."

Carmen shrugged, swinging her legs over the side of the sofa. "Maybe it's like some hammerspace cartoon bullshit."

Experimentally, Tatiana opened it and turned the laptop on. It lit up and asked for a password. "Still works."

Bob made his way over her shoulders. "Maybe try contacting some of the megastars? It wouldn't hurt to try. Probably…"

Purely out of curiosity, Tatiana did so, unlocking the laptop and opening the standard messaging app they used. She stole a few glances at some other things too, taking note that the wifi wasn't working and that the battery of the device was at -15%. Must be screwy coming into a world where it probably shouldn't exist.

She hesitated for a moment before pushing through and typing a message into the chat. Something along the lines of 'where are you guys I don't know where I am' but sounding more regal and prestigious in her words. The author isn't quite good at making extravagant descriptions.

Heavy silence fell over the group waiting for a reply and then came an influx of messages moving so fast that they practically hit the group like a tennis ball dispenser.

Diego squinted at the moving wall of messages. "Uh, maybe go put on like a video conference or whatever? I can't read shit on this chat."

A few clicks later and here we are at some video conference with 5 different groups all panicking in some form or another. From what could be seen, they were all in some form of a hotel room each, though the quality was a bit off. It takes Tatiana going lava lady to quiet them down.

She cleared her throat. "Now, I know that we are all under a lot of stress at the moment. Being in such an unfamiliar place. But we cannot let that get to us. We are Vinyl City's finest-"

"Um, Ms. Tatiana? I know it's rude to interrupt but who are they?" Yinu pointed past the screen.

Tatiana took quick glances at the 4 humans breathing down her neck and looked back at the laptop. "They are… I'll be generous and say that they're allies. They've figured out about half of what's going on."

Diego poked their head in. "I'll just give an abridged summary of it. You're all from a pretty cool game where the enemy is EDM because it takes place during the Rock Revolution of Vinyl City. You do exist here, just as fictional characters. Got it? Good, I'm not repeating it."

Eve grimaced and sat back on her couch. "And how do we know that we can trust them?"

Cue Carmen taking out a tablet and showing a screenshot from Eve's boss battle. It looked like Eve was kicking Mayday in the face while Zuke stood idle. Health bars for B2J were low and Eve's was not. To really sell it, she played what was actually a clip and the clip was on loop, meaning you could hear Mayday get very hurt by Eve's kick over and over again.

Tatiana pushed the tablet away for the benefit of everyone, raising an eyebrow as to how Carmen got that footage. "I think that's enough evidence to prove that we can trust them."

Sofa was agape, trying to make sense of the situation. "So are we technically even more fake than we already are?"

Mother merely blinked and shifted her eyes. "That is… highly existential crisis inducing."

The call fell silent and the weight of the room really shouldn't be that. So maybe let's skip the existential crisis and a half that revelation has on literally everyone that isn't from the 'real' world and get to the part where they try and figure out where megastars are.

Why? Because you would want to find your friends after getting blasted out of your home and chucked into a place where only higher beings know of.

Okay? Okay.

"Gerefrumple lapple dapple- I have no idea what this says!" Carmen frowned at the gobbledygook on the brochure DJSS held up.

DJSS huffed. "Well I guess we're on the same page then."

Bob looked over their shoulders and narrowed his eyes. "That’s in German. I think he's somewhere in Germany or somewhere where they speak a form of German."

DJSS sputtered. "A what?"

Diego took a glance over at their Switch. "Why not like land in France, at least he could speak their language."

Carmen cut in. "Dude they sing happy birthday there with a German accent. I'm pretty sure he could manage."

Avio moved on to a different megastar. "Eve what about you?"

"Canada, I think. There was a nice man who lent me his shower and told me where I was." She took a sip from her coffee. "If it wasn't for this situation right now, I think I'd be plotting revenge against Canada."

The group made increasing confused faces. Bob ignored that and scribbled down on a notepad while Carmen went on to ask the next artist. "Alright, 2 down, 3 to go. 1010, anything you got?"

Green sheepishly held up a newspaper. "I picked this up while we were headed here. I can't read it though. It's all with circles and lines and lines with circles."

"Let me see that soldier." Neon J looked over Green's shoulder. He stood there nodding for a few seconds like he understood what he was reading. "I... can't read this either." He did not.

Everyone sighed in frustration and Bob merely glossed over that. "Can you hold it up to the camera?" Green compiled. 

Collectively, everyone squinted at the paper, waiting for the camera to focus. When the paper came into view, Avio read a few lines before she realized what she was looking at.

"한국의- Oh my god they're in Korea."

Green retracted the newspaper which was then followed by perplexed stares. "The fu- the frick's a Korea?" Red asked.

Avio sighed and then returned to form. "Actually I'm not really that surprised. It makes sense when you think about it."

Bob shook Avio's shoulder. "Yeah, yeah. Moving on. Yinu and Mother. Any idea where you are?"

Mother spared a look offscreen, opting to cover Yinu's ears. "Not particularly. All the people here talk strange and there's barely any plants. Also, it's cold."

There was a loud crash coming from her right and a booming argument following. Something along the lines of products and a lack of pronounced Rs in words like car and park.

Bob bit down on his pen, then concluded, "Definitely somewhere in New England, most likely Boston judging by those accents."

"Weird place to land but okay." Carmen stated. "And lastly, Dodo, Remi, Sofa, and Tila, where are you?"

Remi raised his hand while the rest of Team SAYU fooled around in the back. "I'm not sure. We can speak the language here and-" A yell in the back towards the team. Remi waved offscreen. "はい! Anyways, we can understand the people here-"

Bob cut in. "Japan. Got it!" He stood up swiftly and left the room. "Carmen, get Richie on the phone; I'll get the luggage."

Eve mustered up a confused face. "Wait, that quickly?"

"Shouldn't we coordinate a plan or something?" Neon J added.

Diego shrugged. "I guess we’ll figure it out as we go along. Maybe like get yourself some addresses while you're there and text it to Tatiana or something."

"Do you think our phones will work in this world?" Tatiana asked, taking out said device. "I don't think they will."

Mother chimed as well. "Our computers work here to make this conference, I suppose our phones will too."

"Good point." Avio started heading towards the bedrooms, catching a huge suitcase headed her way. "Gotta start packing. I take it you guys won't need to though."

Remi shifted. "Yeah, I think we really only have our wallets and electronic devices on us. I've gone days in the same outfit more times than I can count but we might need to get some extra clothes if we need to stay a few nights here."

Carmen pushed herself off the couch. "Probably. It's gonna take a while before we get to you guys. We're probably gonna go to Canada, Boston, Germany, South Korea, and then Japan in that order."

Neon J made a nonexistent frown. " _ South  _ Korea?"

DJSS raised a nonexistent eyebrow. "You already have a flight plan in mind?"

"Yeah. It's easier to go from closest to farthest. Japan is like an 18 hour flight with at least one layover and I'm not living through that. Canada is closer and we can definitely drive to where Yinu and Mother are in Boston. Probably."

Tila perked up, surprising Remi when she came up on screen. "Wait! How are you gonna get to us? We don't even know where we are on the map!"

"Does this have to do with that… what was it? That 'Richie' character Bob told Carmen to get?" Tatiana inquired.

Diego snorted and gestured with their Switch. "Yeah, Richie knows how to get stuff. If we can get Tatiana on a plane, he can definitely get us an actual plane to fly."

Eve tilted her head. "But how can they get her on if she doesn't really exist in this world?"

"Or any of us for that matter?" Tila added.

"Or how we're gonna figure out where we even  _ are _ ?" DJSS continued.

"Wait, a plane to  _ fly _ !?" White yelled.

"Too many questions!" Carmen yelled, slamming the computer shut. She took a deep breath and chucked it hard to her right, though it didn't break. She looked at Tatiana and Diego and forced a smile. "Pack light!"

And that's how we ended up with 4 disaster children and a CEO of a fictional company on a plane, barring the stares from people. Presumably, since they are megastars, one would think that Tatiana would be accustomed to the staring. You would be right. 

She attempted to chat with Diego to her left but it seemed that they were too engrossed with their games to really pay attention. She couldn't quite speak to Bob, who was fiddling with his backpack he brought, pulling out a rather large book. Avio was in the row across from her so she couldn't talk with her either...

Then she tried with Carmen to her right but she was busy typing away at her phone, fanfiction maybe? And well yes, it was fanfiction. From what she could gleam from it, the writing involved Yinu, 1010, and B2J in some sort of apocalypse. And just from the few sentences she could read there too, it seemed very emotionally wrenching and draining considering what happens to- 

Eventually, 9 hours passed and the crew landed in Ontario. She still isn't sure  _ how  _ they managed to get her on but can’t ask now. By then, Eve figured out her address(along with everyone else) and texted Tatiana. The team had  ~~ hijacked ~~ borrowed a van and started heading towards the NSRtist.

But just skipping to meet Eve would be boring, wouldn't it? Let's go back a few hours shall we?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It'll probably be a bit before I update this again. I want to make the chapters in advance before I do much of anything. Most of it will be comedic, or at the very least entertaining, with a bit of philosophy thrown in. I'm not too great at subtlety, but I work best with comedies rather than big over arching stories.
> 
> Again, I'll be a bit before I update this as I am only 2 chapters ahead of this fic.


	2. Eve vs Canada

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes this is a reference to Dan vs.  
> Also I don't know how to link  
> https://blackicek1lls.tumblr.com/post/636346724920786944/character-ref-for-a-fic-im-writing

Bushes are not soft. They were never soft in the first place. Eve never thought about this before and she didn't think she would. She's thinking about this now because she's face first in a bush and it's really fucking uncomfortable. After getting out of that, she realized that it was really fucking cold too.

"Ugh, sometimes even I question my own fashion choices."

A scream caught her attention; a lady pointed while backing away, still screaming. Eve turned her head to see others also screaming and pointing and running away. 

"Uh…" She turned to a passerby. "Excuse me-" They screamed and ran away. She went to ask another. "Um, sorry, could I-" They screamed as well. She narrowed her eyes then groaned. Eve looked up at the building behind her. " _ Tim Hortons _ ?"

She shrugged. Might as well get something, clear her mind, get more information on where she is. Or she would if not for her slamming into the door jam. Or the man slamming the door into her. This man was fortunately not screaming at her.

"Oh no, I'm so sorry! I didn't see you!"

She rubbed her face and gestured. "Through the  _ glass _ door?"

The man looked back at the door and back at Eve. "Uh, yes." He held out a hand. "Look, I'll pay for your coffee. It's the least I could do."

"Um thanks." Getting up and ducking under the door, Eve and this stranger made their way to the counter.

The man waved at the cashier. "Hi, it's me again. Could I get…"

She had tuned out the man, realizing that the surrounding people, minus the cashiers, had scooted farther from her. Then she realized how bland everyone looked. Variations of tan, peach, and brown, all in shirts and jeans, with a few little girls in dresses. Hairs limited to blondes, blacks and browns. Eyes staring in the same browns. It all seemed quite… boring.

"Miss?"

"Huh?" She snapped back to reality.

"Miss, what would you like?" The cashier looked quite dead inside.

"Um." She gazed at the menu then threw it out of her mind. "Just a black coffee please."

-

"Ah, how rude of me." The man's quiet voice exclaimed. He reached his hand out. "I'm Matthew."

She glanced at his outstretched hand and hesitantly took it. "Eve."

They turned to leave the counter, walking away. "Say, are you famous by any chance? I feel like I've seen you before." Matthew asked, pushing up his glasses.

Eve shrugged. "Yes actually. I'm a bit where I'm from."

Matthew's eyes widened. "Woah! What'd you do to get so popular anyway?"

"Oh! All I really do is make music to power the-" She tried to exit the building but slammed into the top of the door jam, throwing her coffee into the air. Rather than landing all over her, Matthew caught the beverage with his free hand. "Ow."

"I'd help you up, but uh, hands full."

She waved him away. "No, that's fine. I didn't realize how tall I was either."

Eve opened the door, ducking this time, grabbing her drink when Matthew joined her. She shivered, shoving her arms into 2 of her 27 jacket sleeves. "Is it always this cold? Ah, and is coffee always this hot?"

He looked down. "No not really unless you're from the equator. Way hotter there. It gets brutal here during winter so lots of us go South for the weather, eh. And coffee is always a bit hot. It could also be your choice in fashion that's cold too."

She straightened her arms and looked down at her clothes: half a bathing suit and 2 circle things on her babs. "I suppose you're right. I'm usually in my own world so I guess relatively speaking I choose unconventional fashion. Where am I anyway?"

"Canada, miss."

"Maple syrup, watch out!"

"Huh?" Then out of nowhere, almost cartoonishly, a whole lotta maple syrup spilled onto Eve. Matthew took a finger to it and tasted it. "Ugh, it's the fake stuff. Sorry, we're serious about our maple syrup here. You could add it to your coffee?"

Eve glanced and Matthew then back at her coffee. Opening the lid, she sighed. "Might as well try it."

"Runaway moose, watch out!"

"What?" She was then pulled back, as an equally cartoonish moose ran by. She had dropped her coffee in the process, to which the moose trampled. "Oh come on! He  _ just _ bought that!"

Matthew nervously chuckled, thumbing the strings to his hoodie. "Moose are a bit much too. Can't get much worse, eh?"

Then a leaf blower blew loose leaves in their direction. They had stuck on Eve on account of the maple syrup, sticking on her ridiculously long hair, jacket, boot and face. She glared at the man holding said leaf blower, who took this as a sign to do his job somewhere else.

Eve frowned, she frowned really hard, peeling a leaf off her eye. "Doh, the moose and the syrup being sticky and- and the leaves with the cold and the doors and-" She looked up at the sky and shook her fists at it. "CANADA!"

And any person within 25 feet barring Matthew immediately dipped.

-

Cut to Matthew driving and Eve in the passenger's seat. Matthew was in full poker face while Eve was frowning. She slicked her head off the window(sticky syrup, ew) and was mindlessly reading off the signs that passed. She understood what they said but it took a bit for her brain to switch over languages.

"Why are your signs in French?" she asked.

Matthew shrugged without missing a beat. "French influence. Basically, England and France gained a brother and fought over his attention and France won, for a bit."

"I… don't know where those places are."

"Uh…" Matthew stopped and so did the car(don't worry, it was a stop light). "Wait, then why are you here? And if you don't know what France is, why do you know what  _ French _ is?"

"Not sure on both." She bit her thumbnail, tasting the muddled and gloppy maple syrup. "It’s just a mandatory language we have to learn where I live."

The light flashed green and they went on. "Okay, let's just get you in a shower and not think too hard about that."

-

"Okay, now that I've stopped you from enacting revenge on my country, here are some spare clothes for when you shower. You can just give me your syrupy clothes so I can wash them, eh." Matthew held out one arm with the spare clothes.

"Okay, but why are you covering your eyes? I could just leave them outside the door." Eve stood in Matthew's bathroom. Before her was Matthew, struggling to keep the new clothes from falling with one hand and covering his eyes with the other.

Matthew paused and went on. "Ah. Right okay. I'll just…" He twisted his hand so that the new clothes were on the floor. "Leave this and then I'll just leave." And he did. (If we ignore him slamming into what he thought was a wall but was actually a door for 5 seconds.)

-

"Are these yours? They look very…" Bright stars and striped clothes assaulted her eyes. "Loud."

"Hm?" He called from the other room. His voice was a bit strained from being louder than usual she supposed. "No, they're my brother's. He lives down south and is pretty patriotic."

"About what?" 

"Um?" He got closer to the door. "About America? That's why it's stars and stripes; it's part of his country's flag."

"Ah." Eve jankily pulled on the clothes, trying her best to fit them to her frame. After ruffling some fabric and tying some knots, she called out again. "Why do you live in Canada then?"

"Aum, born here, lived here, and work here. Same with my brother. Plus free healthcare." He knocked on the door. "You done?"

She ducked and opened the door. "Yep."

Matthew spun around and walked. "Cool. Your clothes are in the wash, down the hall, third door on the left. I'll be doing work in the kitchen."

With that, Eve made her way to the living room, as she had found her phone and laptop had also made the trip here, fortunately not getting soiled by the maple syrup. She settled on the couch and grabbed her new coffee, turning the computer on. 

After a bit of scrolling and minding the battery percentage, she realized that Tatiana had sent a message within the group chat and that everyone else started spamming it with texts of panic. She sighed, "Not unwarranted… not unwarranted."

After a few solid seconds of the chat going crazy, Eve was met with a message: "Join conversation?"

She groaned, looking back at Matthew in the kitchen and shrugged. She hit yes and, surprise surprise, the video call wasn't much better. A loud blare of panicking people came from her computer as she desperately tried to turn down the volume.

Matthew, who had obviously heard the noise, turned around at Eve. Eve herself had given a thumbs up at the man and returned back to her call when Tatiana had gone Kul Fyra. Matthew blinked and went back to work.

She was about half listening to Tatiana, glossing over everyone's panicked faces and ignoring comments about her clothes. Something about the humans around Tatiana seemed off. Maybe it was their eyes. Maybe their body language. But the kid to Tatiana's left, one who looked quite tired, caught her attention.

The kid from this angle was short, but that was not what was so off. About 80 percent of their exposed skin was a pale peach tone, with the remaining 20 percent being a rich dark brown. There were spots here and there of both colors in other spots but most of it was solid, separated in waves of jagged lines. They looked… pretty. Tatiana said they were associates, yes, but that didn't stop Eve from questioning them.

Mainly because the kid just said a world shattering revelation about her and her existence and honestly what the fuck.

She sat back, attempting to keep her composure. "And how do we know that we can trust them?"

And then one of the associates(a lady with fabulous hair might she add) took out a picture of her. Kicking Mayday. In the face. Continuously. Okay that was enough proof.

Shifting through that crisis about being from a video game and sorta figuring out where they are, the call was abruptly shut off when they were asking questions in rapid fire succession. The call was down and she groaned, slamming the laptop shut and hearing the washing machine beep from down the hall. Eve didn't have anything better to do than to just wait so she might as well shove her minimalist clothes into the dryer next.

By then, Matthew had come by, holding his laptop under his arm. "I take it you've got in touch with your friends, eh?"

She threw her hands up. "That's a strong word but yes. Just need some addresses so they could find us. I might be here for a bit so could I send yours?"

"As long as they're not crazy, sure. It's…"

-

"Ah, that's how your addresses work here? Anyways, why are you being so nice to me? Everyone else has been screaming everytime I'm near."

Matthew made a so-so gesture. "Eh, the past 200 years haven't had a two toned lady in skimpy fashion come by so people are a bit adverse when they come by that, eh. As for your first question." He snatched up his coffee. "You may not be mine but it's not like anyone else wouldn't have done so otherwise."

Eve made a face. "What?"

"Hm?"

She shook her head. "Nothing, nothing. I'll hang tight until they come by."

-

"What's with the video games?" Eve had then gotten a text saying that Tatiana and those 'allies' would be there in 9 hours. She obviously had some time to kill so resorted to sifting through the house she was in.

"Oh yeah. My brother left those here. He tends to forget things."

She frowned while picking up a game with what seemed to be Zuke and Mayday, in stunning art. " _ No Straight Roads _ , huh?" She dropped the box back onto the pile and sifted through other games. "Most of these are shooters or hockey. That's the right terminology, right?"

"The hockey ones're mine. But yeah, shooter is the right word." Matthew dropped his pen on the table. "You've never played video games?"

She shifted and jossed a few games before coming to an answer. "No, not my kind of entertainment. Too busy with my job to keep up anyway."

"Eh, makes sense. In the same boat. Job's too much to keep up sometimes, but my brother seems to do it, eh." He flicked through some papers on his table. "Dunno how though."

Eve shrugged, grabbing the tv remote and settling down on the couch. "The inner machinations of one's mind are an enigma."

Matthew had to hold back from laughing.

-

A loud beep was heard and Eve could finally wear her clothes again, unburdened by Matthew's brother's fashion. Granted the clothes were hot, but since this nation was cold as fuck, it was sorely welcomed.

"House is on fire; get out."

The fire was not.

After being thrusted out with all electronics and such onto the lawn, she watched as this house she had only been in for like 9 hours tops had burned. She couldn't really think of an explanation for this either. Maybe the oven was left on? Faulty wiring? Molotov Cocktail?

Whatever the case, Eve was left sorely confused and hearing Matthew get yelled at on his phone. Guess she'll just wait some more until the fire department comes by.

"AAAHH!"

Or not because the firemen are screaming at her. Great day to be designed so great.

-

Soon after the fire department left, Matthew flicked his head away from the house. "Hey, did your friends specify what they'd be showing up in?"

Eve followed suit. "Not particularly. Why?"

He pointed out. "There's a white van coming right towards us."

"What." Her eyes widened as the both of them split to avoid the very dangerous van barreling towards them.

The van had stopped with about half of it on the sidewalk. 3 heads popped out of the windows. One of them had waved to her, a lady doused in reds and black with fabulous hair. "Hi Eve! Tatiana, look, we found Eve!"

Another yelled out, one dressed in greys. "I would prefer our only driver NOT kill us on the way."

"Eve!"

"Ah, that's them." 

-

"Thanks for putting up with me Matthew. I hope we'll meet some other time. That doesn't involve the house burning down. Or moose."

"No prob Bob."

A man in beige looked up. "What? Oh."

Matthew snickered and nudged her. "I'll ask Malaysia if they can pull a few strings, eh."

Eve blinked. "What?"

Matthew laughed and pushed Eve further. "Nothing. Bye!"

"Bye…"

Settling into the car, they both waved away at each other, though Eve ignored the rousing noise. Despite just leaving, she found herself thinking about Matthew. A pale man with a cowlick sticking out of his wavy blond hair, round glasses, and with a muted red maple leaf on his hoodie.

The man in beige turned to her with a coffee, black. She took it and the man asked a simple question.

"So, how did you fare?"


	3. Nick Cage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit 1/8/2021: Changed Alfred to Jones when I realized that Alfred Jones(America) and Alfred Loh(DK West's VA) shared the same name. I didn't want it to get confusing later down the line so I changed it

"Um, excuse me but, where are we going?" 

"Oh!" Carmen twisted to look at Eve. "Just a 6 hour road trip to Boston, no biggie. After we get Yinu and her Mother, our friend Richie will-"

"Carmen, eyes on the road!" Diego yelled, prompting her to turn back around and grab the wheel. The car swerved hard, nearly missing a car, and the passengers to hit the left.

A solid few seconds passed by before Carmen continued. "Our friend Richie will get us a plane and then we'll fly to Germany to get DJSS."

Eve hyper ventilated and glanced at Tatiana. "Does she know how to steer this thing?"

Avio popped up in front of her face from the back of the van. Eve yelped but she paid no mind. "Not well but the only one that can legally drive. Diego and I aren't old enough and Bob here got his revoked after crashing into 15 light poles on like 9 different occasions."

Eve then darted her eyes down and back up. "Shouldn't you be wearing a seatbelt? Your arm is broken."

Avio gazed into the stark slightly yellowed bandages surrounding her arm, blank due to her refusal that it would be signed. The suffocating feeling it had on her whenever she flexed both broken appendages. "Nah."

With that, Tatiana sighed, holding her head in her hands. "Don't question it. They're about as logical as a llama and snake at a convention at sea. Solving a puzzle. About a cow and a spoon."

Eve winced and directed herself towards Bob, who seemed very generic but the most sane. "So, how much longer until we get to uh…"

"Boston?"

"Yes, there."

He sighed, sifting through his bag. "Considering we just started, about 5 hours and 45 minutes."

Carmen piped up from the driver's seat. "We can always put on some music. Deegs, connect your phone will ya? We've got The Beatles, Queen, some Kikuo for flavor, Mulan's got some good ones, even some Elvis, and oh! Avio, did you mess with Deegs's music?"

"No." Avio protested. "Just put on like Killer Queen. Get that high energy stuff out."

Tatiana sat back. "Hm? What's Killer Queen?"

Diego scrolled through their phone and narrowed their eyes, stopping just short of selecting the song. "Av, you sure we should put this on? Or Carm, any of these songs for that matter?"

Carmen simply threw her hand. "Pff, it'll be fine. At best, we'll be singing. If worst comes to worst, we'll just change the song."

Diego shrugged and played the song. Tatiana turned to Bob. "What's wrong with the song?"

"Oh, it’s because the song is rock music. Carmen heard most of these songs when they came out so she loves them a lot. Diego's being considerate because of the whole… grudge against rock thing you've got going on."

"Actually Deegs, could ya put on Party Junkie instead. Since we're getting Yinu, I can't play this song after we get them."

Bob groaned. "Oh no."

Diego put their feet on the dashboard. "At least it counts as EDM."

Eve tilted her head. "What's so bad about the song that you can't play it when we-"

**_Keep on dancing, put your hands up, don't stop moving buddy~_** **_本能剥き出しの•••_**

"Ah. That’s why."

"Speaking of Yinu, what do you think they're doing right now?" Avio asked.

Let’s go back a bit then to see.

-

"Mister, please calm down." Mother had tried her best to calm the short man in front of her, who had started screaming. Granted, the two had just crashed through the ceiling, so the panicking wasn’t unwarranted. It had taken an employee picking up the man and walking away to put him elsewhere to stop him. Though by now, everyone in the vicinity had also started screaming.

The employee that carried the man away evacuated the rest of the public and may have broken a few phones in the process too before finally confronting both mother and child. "Hi, sorry about that. I'm Jones. How may I help you?"

Yinu was the first to speak up. "Um, hi Mr. Jones. Do you know why everyone was screaming?"

"Yinu dear, don't speak to the strange man," Mother spoke in a hushed whisper.

"Ah, no worries." Jones held his hands up then pointed to his nametag. "I work here. It's my job to help people in this store."

"Ah, yes." Mother held Yinu right behind her arms. "Well, Jones, do tell, what is happening?"

"Yes, well…" He spun on his heel. "It seemed like you two fell from the sky, crashed through the roof, and landed in the pillows section of this store. That normally doesn't happen so people were screaming."

Yinu pushed her mother's arm out of her face, looking side to side before talking. "So why does everyone look so bland then?"

"Uh hoo what?"

She stepped forward. "You're like me, all yellow and stuff but everyone here is all peachy and brown. Mama here is red and I've seen a few green and purple and grey and-"

"Yinu sweetie." Mother had bent down to her level. "Let’s save these questions for later." She turned to Jones. "Well, where are we then?"

"Ah! Right." He pushed up his glasses. "You're just in a store, no biggie. I take it you're not from here. Sorry dude, your accents and appearances are a dead giveaway."

Mother held a hand to her mouth. "Ah, I suppose so."

-

**_What the Hell What the Hell_ **

"Oh, fuck fuck fuck." Carmen jerked her hands to the phone in a panic, not caring to keep her eyes on the road. "Why is that one in there?"

The van swerved and Carmen frantically changed the song. This spilled Eve's, frankly cold, coffee on the window.

**_I do not want to pay, I'll never do that again, Don't lean on the table~_ **

-

"You can hang back here while I deal with everything else." Yinu and Mother had ended up in the break room, ignoring the outside because literally everyone was screaming besides Jones.

Yinu was on her mother's lap, staring up at the ceiling and counting the holes. Mother herself was holding onto Yinu, checking every so often around them. A few minutes later, around 6:30, a kid no older than 16 came into the break room, not caring for the two nor screaming.

Pulling out a chair and grabbing a paper cup, the teen waited for the cup to fill; he took no time to down the entire thing, weakly placing it on the table. He glared at Mother and his expression softened at Yinu. He squinted his eyes.

"I feel like I’ve seen you somewhere."

Mother’s grip tightened. "Really now?"

He hit his head a couple times. "Like maybe from one of my dad's- Oh!" He snapped his fingers. "You look like Yinu and her Mother from that cool Malaysian game! Are you cosplayers?"

Yinu had stopped counting and tilted her head. "Cosplayers?"

"Ah, y-yes!" Mother exclaimed. "Cosplayers, yes. We are cosplayers." She gave the teen a nervous smile. "You've played?"

"Hm, no. I've seen my little sister play it. She kept dying though and my dad started playing it. Said that they finally made some good entertainment there."

Yinu's eyes lit up. Jumping out of her mother's lap, she hopped up to the teen. "You have a sister? A little one?"

The teen laughed and booped her on the nose. "I have a lotta sisters and brothers. I think the youngest ones are around your age. You’re like 9 right?"

She beamed. "Mhm!"

"Yinu!"

"Miss please, it’s my break. There’s nothing wrong with a bit of banter."

-

**_"Gunpowder, gelatine, dynamite with a laser beam!" "Guaranteed to blow your mind~!"_ **

Bob shrugged at Tatiana as the rest of his friends sang along to a rock song.

**_"Anytime~"_ **

-

The door of the break room opened and Jones was there. "Oh hey Nick."

"Hey dad." The teen looked up and gave Yinu back to Mother, who she immediately wrapped her arms around. "Break's over already?"

"Yep, everything's calmed down now so I'll take  _ my _ break." Jones took the now unoccupied seat while Nick left. Leaning on his forearms, he greeted the two. "Hey dude."

Mother gave a weak wave. "Hello."

Yinu gave a big wave. "Hi!"

Mother felt over her ring. "That kid is your son? You don't look that old."

Jones chuckled, taking off his glasses and cleaning them with his shirt. "What? Yeah, he's mine. I've got a young face, don't I?"

Yinu's eye widened then narrowed. "You play games then? And you have kids, right? Do they play any instruments? I play piano." Her eyes returned to form. "Do any of them play piano?"

"Alright, alright, slow down. I know that my daughter Monty can play the acoustic guitar. I'd have to check back with a few others. Penny I know can play the hurdy gurdy. Nick can play the sax. Leilani can play well on the xylophone. Austin can rock a bass-"

As the man went on, Mother started counting the names. Let’s see: Nick, Monty, Penny, Leilani, Austin, Cali, Winston, Missy, Georgia, Allen, Michaela, Flora, Della, Allie, Colin, Wash- Wash? Who names their kid Wash?

"Ginny is pretty good with a violin. There is a work friend I know that can play piano. He's kinda snobbish though. I dunno if you'd like him." Jones finished off his list of kids. " _He talks in_ _this snooty voice and thinks everyone around him has 5 brain cells_."

"Pff, why would anyone talk like that?"

Al shrugged. "Who knows, little dude? He sure doesn't."

While Yinu was busy with Jones, Mother had taken this time to explore and check her pockets. She probably should’ve done this sooner but I guess it's been a stressful time. All in all, she found her wallet with a lot of cash, her phone, and the work laptop. Sparing a glance at Jones, she opened said laptop and checked to see if everything was in order.

Opening the messages app, she whipped her head to the side to dodge the texts coming in at high speeds. Seems like her and Yinu weren’t the only ones in this predicament. A tug at her dress grabbed her attention. Yinu smiled nervously and raised her arms up. Mother hefted her child back on her lap.

"Where’s Jones?" she asked.

"His break was over so he's going back to work." Yinu replied.

"Ah." The laptop had a pop up of some kind. Ah, video call. Seemed better than barely skimming over a barrage of texts anyways. Mother clicked yes and the call immediately devolved into panicked screams and complaining; Almost as quickly as that happened, Mother's arms shot up to cover Yinu's' ears.

Tatiana went Kul Fyra and Yinu interrupted the call with a question. Not without reason however. Mother surveyed the new humans surrounding her boss. One in particular, to the far left, while albeit bland, captivated her. Maybe it was the casts on her arm that got her, how such a small girl like her managed to break both her arm  _ and _ pinky.

Then the existential crisis of being from a video game reared its ugly head into her mind. She shouldn't be surprised considering Nick had said something about her cosplaying a video game character but I guess she was more focused on _not_ scaring the living daylights out of people. 

Shifting from that to actually finding where the frick they are proved to be a challenge. Unless you were the humans with Tatiana. That beige boy in back with the notes? Mother doesn't understand how, but he managed to figure out the city they were in purely by hearing an accent from the other room. Maybe that wasn't that great but the fact he managed to hear it was a miracle. Or maybe the other guy was just loud, who cares?

Next priority: hanging on long enough until they arrive.

-

**_"Come fly with us~ Come fly with us~ Come~ and fly~ with us!"_ **

"This sucks." Eve said.

Diego laughed.

**_This~ sucks~_ **

Eve threw her hands up. "Oh come on!"

-

"Are you sure no one lives here?"

"Yeap." Jones pulled the door open. "We only keep this place up here clean in case of emergencies like this. Like if a worker can't get home, they crash here."

As soon as she was set down, Yinu bolted for the nearest window. She jumped, trying to get the latch open, only for Jones to do that for her. A quick thank you later and Yinu is stretching her neck out. From below, cars blared at each other, their lights shining like eyes. From above, the sky ironically did not shine like that, drowned out by the lights. Looking straight out showed the cramped buildings and neighbors. Brick towers knocked with holes to make windows, with sills with flowers and metal ladders.

"Enjoying the view?"

"Where are all the plants?" Her mother joined in, crouching slightly.

"Eh." Jones shrugged. "It’s the city. There aren't any plants unless it's like a park or someone's growing a window sill garden. Trees are here for that sweet sweet oxygen." He yawned. "Anyways, I'm gonna go home. Anything you need right now?"

"Ah, yes actually. What is the address of this place? A co-worker is picking us up soon." Well, she wasn't lying.

"Ah, that's easy. Here, it's…"

-

"Keep your ion me, da didi do~" Carmen did a little dance while she filled up the car with gas.

Eve found herself staring at Diego to distract from that.

-

The loud blaring of cars woke her up. She rubbed her eyes with one hand, finding her phone with the other. The bright screen illuminated her face, as Mother could barely make out the message:  _ be there in an hour. get ready.  _ Ah, it was Tatiana. Mother checked the convenient still operational clock on her bedside. 8:30 am.

She groaned, pushing herself into a sitting position, and stretching. Yinu on the other side of the small room was fast asleep. Mother sighed and worked up the courage to wake her up. "Yinu darling, wake up."

"Hm, what?" Yinu snuggled into the blanket.

"Yinu, Ms. Tatiana is going to come by and pick us up in an hour. We need to be awake."

Yinu yawned, then rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. "Fine."

-

"Why are the streets so clear now?"

"Oh, Richie's family must be around. That's a good thing!" Carmen replied, finally slowing down and adhering to the traffic laws.

Tatiana looked out the window, relieved that Boston brought some familiarity, minus the traffic. "How do you know Richie? It seems a bit odd that you know someone here that can secure a plane after all."

"Richie's here visiting family for the summer. He lives in California like us." Bob answered.

"The plane thing is 'cause of his family. They have one but never use it I think." Diego added on, though they were only half listening.

Eve brought her hands to her head. "Why would they have a plane?"

Avio, without missing a beat, said, "Oh, he's part of the mafia."

"What!?" The megastars yelled.

"Yeah, we’re just cashing in a favor. Or rather, I'm cashing in a favor." Carmen turned to face the two but was immediately reminded to keep her eyes on the road.

"What did you do that makes the mafia indebted to you?" Eve asked, hesitant to know.

"Oh, it’s real simple. Real easy too." Carmen grinned, slowly applying pressure to the gas pedal. "I drive Richie to school!"

"...Th-that's it?"

"Yep, his parents are too busy with the family business and they don't trust their chauffeurs, so I do it. Oh, hey, there he is!"

-

Yinu did not know staring contests out in public were a thing. Because they’re not. Just as they were leaving the shop, they met a kid that was definitely too young to be out alone.

“Who’re you?”

Mother narrowed her eyes. “Who’re you?”

The kid pointed. “I asked first… missus.”

“I’m Yinu, and this is my mom!” Yinu cheered, jumping to try and match the kid’s height.

“Ah...” the kid awkwardly stuck out his hand. “Richie.”

“Oh!” Mother perked up. ”Have you seen a lady that’s half pink and white? Preferably with a lady, if I recall correctly, with long mahogany hair? They’re coming by to pick us up. Said that they were getting a plane from you.”

“Miss Carmen? All she does is drive me to school but she’s never asked us for anything. If anything, a favor like this is way overdue.” Richie kicked the ground, holding his hands on his neck.

Yinu held her hands to her temples before it hit her. “Oh right, people are supposed to go to school!”

"Hi Richie!"

"Yo what the-" They turned to the direction of the voice, a lady with long mahogany hair waving out the window from the driver's seat. Looking harder, you'd realized that the lady driving the van was booking it towards you at a definitely illegal speed. The horror on all three pedestrians was visible on their faces. Richie dipped right while Mother grabbed Yinu and dived left.

The van came to a halt in an almost near perfect parallel park if you ignored the broken parking meter and busted fenders. Carmen, unfazed, continued to wave. "Hi Richie! Hi Yinu! Hi Yinu's mom!"

Eve opened her side of the car, frazzled at Carmen's driving skills. Bob, Tatiana, and Diego filtered out with Avio coming from the back. "Hi…"

Richie, in turn, yelled and Carmen. "What the he- eck Miss Carmen? Ya coulda iced us right off the fu- fracking map!"

Carmen scoffed and laughed. "Pff, you know I'm the best driver in the world. I even have a pilot's license!"

"Just because you have it doesn't mean ya good at it!" Richie sighed. "Hi Avio, Bob, Diego."

"Hi Richie."

Bob clicked his tongue. "The plane ready?"

A convenient limo pulled up. "Yeah, get in the limo."

-

The limo ride was fun, and minus the glares from the driver, it seemed that they were safe. Diego tried to reach for alcohol but was promptly smacked on the wrist by Bob.

Once they made it to the plane, getting past the diamond wire fences and stink eyes, it wasn't all that big. The ladder climb up seemed to be short and the inside was very spacious. The floor was soft blue carpet accompanied by big faux leather seats and a fold out table.

"Okay,  _ this _ ." Richie held up a thick book with a plane and a guy. "Is the manual for the plane.  _ These _ ." He held up a shiny ring adorned with sharp metal objects. "Are the keys. Ignore the rabbit foot. Can my family trust you with this plane?"

"What do you think?"

"Instincts say no, debt says yes."

"Then yes." And so both items were handed over.

-

"Okay, all systems checked, fuel is loaded, passengers secure, pilot is secure." Carmen picked up the intercom. "I think we're ready for liftoff!"

Eve was skeptical for very obvious reasons. So was Tatiana. Tatiana turned to Bob. "Are we sure we can trust her flying skills?"

"Short answer, yes. Long answer, no but she has a pilot's license. We can probably survive." Bob said as he clicked in his fourth and fifth seatbelts.

Mother, taking note of that, clicked in hers and Yinu's extra 4 seatbelts. "Um, how long is this flight?"

The intercom glitched and staticed, before the answer came. "About 12 hours!"

You know that feeling when someone steps on the gas of the car really fast and your body gets like sent back? That’s what happened here but on a plane. Because Carmen totally floored it and is probably(at least on the ground) going at an illegal limit. You can’t exactly send a police car into the sky, so you can just imagine the worry and panic as 4 characters from a video game realize that they’ve put the safety of their lives in the hands of a maniac.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoo, next up is a filler chapter while I start writing DJSS's chapter. I'm not sure how I'm handling this premise; am I doing a decent job?
> 
> Songs referenced:  
> Party Junkie by Satsuki ga Tenkomori  
> Suji by MARETU  
> Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley (Google Translated)  
> Killer Queen by Queen  
> Come Fly with Us from Total Drama World Tour  
> Science Wars by ASAPscience


	4. Universe in a Bag

Eve was just now clicking in her extra 4 seatbelts. She curled herself into a ball, using her 4 other arms to hang on to her seat. Diego, meanwhile, had tightened their belts but was otherwise unfazed by flight. It was futile to panic, as they only had one pilot to trust.

Tatiana narrowed her eyes as the plane left the ground. "Why didn't we take a commercial flight?"

Avio clicked in her belts, awkwardly moving her right arm. "They're too- woah! They're too expensive. With the 8 of us, this flight would cost… Bob, you're the nerd."

Bob counted on the segments of his fingers. "It would be well over- ah! A thousand dollars."

"Woah!" Yinu wavered. The plane shook a third time. Mother tightened both of their seatbelts.

"Are most flights like this?"

Diego clicked a few buttons on their Switch. "No. Maybe. It's been a bit since I've been on a plane."

"You were on one 6 hours ago! Ah!" Tatiana yelled. The plane had jerked again. She groaned. "Should someone check on our pilot?"

"I'll do it."

Eve sighed and unbuckled herself, jolting up via the plane. She held onto the nearby seats for dear life, slowly reaching then quickly grabbing the next. Making her way towards the cockpit, the plane jolted again and Eve instinctually shot her 4 arms out to grasp the doorway. Like a spider, she stretched her legs to hook onto a corner and seized her hands onto the handle of the door, wrenching it open.

"Oh hi Eve!" Carmen looked back. "Whacha doing up here?"

Eve scrambled inside, the door shutting hard behind her. "What am I doing? What are you doing?"

She laughed, throwing her hand. "I'm the pilot, duh! I'm flying the plane."

"I know that." Eve seethed. She pointed forward. "Eyes on the sky!"

"Oh right!" Carmen grabbed the controls pulling upward, causing the plane to jolt again. "Almost hit that flock of ducks!"

Eve was pressed against the wall, slowly making her way to the copilot's seat. Once there, she did her 5 seatbelts again and held onto the seat even more this time. Carmen hummed, saying something about stick men. The plane jostled again, as Carmen took to flicking a random switch, doing a little dance as she did so.

Eve winced and stared wide eyed at Carmen. "Do you know how to steer this thing?"

Carmen laughed again; the plane finally leveled. "I'll try!" Then she kicked her legs onto the yoke.

-

The plane had stopped jerking, jostling, and jolting, now calm. Looking out the window, you’d find just seas and seas of clouds. Ironic. After what would feel like hours (really, it was like 5 minutes), Eve got out of the copilot's seat, got out of the cockpit, went to stand in a clear area of the plane and just layed down. Diego looked up from their game and promptly went back to playing.

Tatiana had let go of the armrests (hope Richie won't hold it to these guys for breaking them) and put her feet on the floor. She pulled up the window blind, nearly getting blinded herself. She shut it and glanced at Bob. He was rummaging through his backpack but when she really stared into it, she couldn't quite comprehend. It got more confusing when he pulled out a bottle of whiskey and 2 glasses. He offered a glass to Tatiana.

"Ah, no? Why are you resorting to drinking so quickly?"

Bob shrugged, putting the alcohol back into his bag. "I dunno. We need something to do on this 12 hour flight and this is the only thing I can do that doesn't risk any incidents. I've got a pretty high tolerance in this body."

"That's a lie; he totally can't." Diego yelled.

Bob glared at them. Sifting through his bag again, he took out a box with the word MONOPOLY scrawled on the front. "We can always play a game."

Tatiana looked down at the box and up at Bob a few times before shaking away on how exactly this world worked. She blinked and just gave into the illogicality of this reality.

-

Playing a game was a mistake. Okay, maybe more that playing _this_ game was a mistake. If you've ever played Monopoly, you'd know how brutal it gets. Avio nearly ended up breaking her other arm because of the situation right now. Eve was bouncing around the plane like Kars at the bottom of that cliff. Bob resorted to drinking once again with Tatiana joining.

Carmen was near tearing off the yoke of the plane pulling up, as they were heading towards the sea. The added mass of Mother turning into a tree really weighed down the plane and caused it to start plummeting. Wait. No hang on. Nah, they be dying now. Diego and Yinu were busy with Mother.

"I hate this. I hate this. DID I MENTION THAT I HATE THIS?" Diego's voice was rising octaves.

Eve, curled up in a ball with a traumatized face, simply said, "Let me leave. This never ending hell."

"Hiya! Ow…" Avio punched Mother in the leg then shook her hand.

“Welp, I’m already hitting my lifespan.” Bob shouted from the front seats. "Hey Yinu’s mom! We have wine!"

Mother immediately ditched her angry tree form. "Oh really?"

With the extra weight from angry tree mom mode gone, Carmen could actually pull the train up _awa_ yfrom the sea. It had only been what? An hour or so? Give or take a few minutes. We still got 10 more? 

Carmen took her shoe off and chucked it to open the door. "Can you guys like, NOT try to kill each other on this plane? I know we last like 20 years but we've got other things to worry about than who's paying who in a board game."

She was met with Avio chucking the shoe back.

-

"How'd you break your arm?"

"Wha- hm?"

Yinu pointed to Avio's arm. "How’d ya break it?"

Avio blinked, lifting her right arm. "Oh. Fell out of a tree. Before that, I broke my pinky playing piano."

Yinu frowned. "How'd you managed that?"

"Eh, pulled it too far and then I punched the keys. They're probably all healed up by now." Avio twisted her arm.

“I didn’t know you could break your pinky playing piano.”

She shrugged. “That’s why we do our hand exercises.”

Yinu bit the side of her index finger. “I think there are few one handed songs you can play but they’re on higher octaves. I think we can-”

"On it. Bob, keyboard."

“What-”

"Got it." Bob took a keyboard out of his backpack and handed it to Avio. She took it without turning her head. Tatiana, who was right next to the man, looked back and forth between him and his bag. She blinked, shaking away whatever she just saw in her mind.

Avio and Yinu huddled up at the keyboard, Yinu to Avio's right. "I know a few songs I can play by heart. I'm not sure which one I can play with one hand though."

Yinu giggled, "That's okay. We can duet!"

Avio shrugged and played a scale. "Sure, why no-"

I'm gonna kill you.

Everyone turned their heads to the pair. The two sat with their jaws agape and Avio went to a lower pitch. "Maybe we just mis-"

I'm gonna kill you.

Yinu tried playing a few scales. Nothing happened. So Avio tried again. But uh…

I’m gonna kill you.

Avio hissed under her breath. “Goddammit Bob.”

-

Diego sighed and paused their game, turning to look at Eve. “You’re staring.”

Eve flinched. “I’m not staring.”

“You’re staring.”

“I’m not!”

They sighed then yelled. “Bob, has she been staring?”

Bob took a swig of wine. “Yeah, she’s been staring.”

“Avio?”

She kicked the keyboard down in Bob’s backpack. “Definitely!”

Eve blushed and brought a second set of hands to hold her temples.”I’m not staring.”

Diego tsked and continued. “Carmen?”

Carmen yawned. “Yeppers!”

“Tatiana?”

“No.” Bob glared at her. “Okay, yes, she has been.” Eve frowned and crossed her arms. “What? I was sitting next to you for 6 hours, how could I not notice you staring?”

Eve groaned and looked at Diego. “I’m not staring.”

Diego shifted their eyes up and down, staring at her for a few seconds. “Yeah okay.”

-

“Hey, Bob?” Tatiana poured wine into her glass. 

“Yeah?”

“How long has it been since Carmen slept?” 11 hours into the flight, most of the passengers on board ended up sleeping. There wasn’t much to do on a plane other than like sleep, eat, play on your phone, computer, maybe a book if you brought one, but in general, it was a pretty boring experience.

“Eh...” He bit down on his glass. “Probably since the flight to Canada. I think she slept on the trip.”

The conversation went silent. And then they realized what he just said.

“How long are we into this flight?” she asked.

“About 11 hours, almost done,” he answered.

“The drive to Boston was 6 hours, yes?”

“Yes.”

Tatiana clicked her tongue. “That means that she hasn't slept in at least 17 hours, yes?”

Bob nodded. “Yeah, that’s usually how long a person’s day is, if we consider that they sleep 8 hours. I mean, Carmen has a tendency to stay up writing and reading, so I don’t know.”

“But that means she’s going to be sleepy, yes?”

“Mhm.”

She sighed. “Maybe we should check on her.”

“Yeah.”

So the two went to the cockpit, gently opening the door. “Hey Carme-” Her head slammed down on the controls. “Shit!”

-

“I wasn’t singing the Ducktales theme song!”

“Hm, ah, wha..?” Eve rubbed her eyes. The plane jerked again and Avio’s declaration of not singing woke her up. The jostling must’ve gotten her up too, but Avio soon went back to sleeping. “What’s going- woah! What’s going on?”

Bob was hot on his toes, a cocktail shaker in his hands. There was loud yelling that miraculously didn’t wake Eve up before, something about staying awake. Bob jumped to his bag, still shaking the uh… shaker, taking out a cup and pouring the contents of the shaker in. He dashed past Eve, slamming past the door and shutting it behind him. “Hi Eve! Bye Vi! Gotta get this coffee to Carmen otherwise we’re crashing into Germany. Okay, bye!”

Eve, who was not as awake as she should’ve to process this, laid back down and slept.

-

Carmen closes her eyes for 5 seconds and all of a sudden she’s got Bob shoving coffee in her face, her hair is wet, it’s cold, and Tatiana is trying to use the controls like a Wiimote in Mario Kart. She was still pretty out of it for what felt like just 5 seconds of closing her eyes. Bob’s mouth moved but she couldn’t quite register what he was saying; it was all muffled or she just blocked it out mentally. She yawned and stretched, waving away Tatiana’s hands on the yoke before grabbing them herself.

She blinked, then squinted, seeing the ground growing closer. “Oh, we’re gonna crash.”

“Yes! Yes!” Bob shrieked. ”Please, we don’t know how to fly this!”

Carmen blew a lock of hair out of her face, rubbing her eyes as well. Amidst the panicking of a CEO and friend, she very painstakingly flicked some switches and slurred into the intercom.

“I’m gonna land now, don’t be awake.” Then she jerked the controls up, but was still going down. 

Tatiana fled the front of the plane, running all the way to the back seats and buckling up. Bob belted himself into the copilot’s seat, downing a coffee that was supposed to be Carmen’s but I guess now that he’s gonna die, he might as well go out drinking something nice.

Thankfully, Carmen knew what she was doing and the plane landed with a few bumps and bruises on the way. Finally settling on some land, she pulled the throttle back. Delirious and laughing, Carmen eased up on the yoke of the plane and promptly passed out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DJSS'S upcoming chapter was pain for me so that's why this one took so long. I complete the next chapter before posting the one before so I don't burn myself out by posting all at once. It happened with my fic A Single Crisp Apple so I don't want it to happen to this one.


	5. Sparkle X Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ao3 backlogged this.

It's wet, there’s drunk people everywhere, and DJSS is pretty sure they've cost a few hundred dollars worth of property damage. Hi. We've gone back a few hours to see what DJSS has been up to while our friends on the plane are getting to them. Let’s hope they last long enough!

Anyways, back to DJSS(yes, we are using that name; no the author is not typing out that 10 syllable name, fuck you). Now, they tried to heft themselves out of the barrel, but that didn't bode well because now they're just on the ground still stuck in the barrel. This is what happens when you're top heavy folks. So, failing that, they tried to break the barrel but that just hurt their hand really bad.

"Okay, what the actual fuck." A man with blue eyes and slicked back blonde hair glared at them, biting the rim of his glass. The man gazed upward through the hole (holes?) in the arguably ceiling or floor depending on how you looked at it. "What the- what the actual fuck."

"Hello," DJSS spoke.

The man held a face of disgust as he maintained half-hearted contact with the- with the… with DJSS, placing his glass of barely touched beer on the table. The man, still holding his face, pointing at them. "Please don't tell me you're an advanced version of those blasted Pictonians."

"You mean Plutonians?" They made a scoffing noise. "Don't compare me to things like that. I am DJ Subatomic Supernova; I am not as insignificant as that planet or their people. I am bigger than the cosmos, bigger than the galaxies, bigger than-"

"Alright, alright, stop it before the author lady needs to stop this with a Yakko line." The man sighed, holding his head in his left hand and his right hand holding the opposing arm. "And I honestly can't take you seriously when you're halfway into a barrel of beer."

Oh, right. They were still in a barrel.

DJSS attempted to say a few things but their train of thought was soon cut off by a man with silver hair hitting the barrel with a chair. That didn't miraculously splinter and actually cracked open the keg of beer. Unfortunately(or fortunately depending on your perspective), this spilled the beverage literally everywhere.

The silver haired man blinked, mouth slightly agape. "You, uh, you need a towel, thude?"

Rather than go off on a 5 hour rant laced with  _ heavy  _ sarcasm, because you can get even more humiliated than this, DJSS just simply answered, "Yes."

-

One very small towel later, DJSS ended up going through their belongings, just to make sure. Okay, wallet with money, headphones still intact, keys, phone and computer that are thankfully undamaged, gloves still wet. They sighed, rolling those off and twisting the alcohol out of them.

"Ve, are you new here?" Oh god not another one. They turned and found a man with auburn hair with cowlick sticking out at them.

"Uh… yes. I'd prefer if you'd leave me be."

The auburn man did not listen, instead procuring a brochure from his pockets. "Well, I don't exactly know how you ended up here in this village. Ge- Ludwig says that barely anyone comes here because it's so out there. Like all the people here, they mostly watch sports and drink a lot but all the bambinis are so cute too. I always want to pinch their cheeks. You wanna see them? All the bellas probably won't mind if we-

"Okay, okay!" They cried, grabbing the papers from the man. "If I just take these, will you leave me alone?"

The auburn man slumped his shoulders, then quickly returned to form. "Mm, okay!" The man then left.

"Jeez, does no one not know when to leave someone alone?" They scoffed and opened their computer. Getting past the error messages on their internet browser, shutting them, they clicked on their messages app. DJSS then started spamming the chat in a panic to complain. Well, on the outside, they looked calm if you ignored how quickly they were typing.

The only thing that stopped them was a pop up asking them to join a video call. As soon as they clicked yes, they filled the speakers with panic and annoyance. Due to where DJSS was, a pub or bar(I don't know okay), loud noises weren’t uncommon and DJSS was probably way quieter than all the other attendants at the pub. It took Tatiana Kul Fyra-ing them that made everyone stop.

By now, DJSS was trying to take in everyone's backgrounds. They looked like they were all in decent places from what DJSS could see. They laughed and maybe ribbed Eve's clothes, though she looked quite comfy. Yinu and Mother were vague but it didn't seem like they were in danger. Neon J and 1010 managed to score a hotel (lucky). And Team SAYU seemed to be a restaurant, and a good one at that.

Tatiana was seated with 4 humans that looked rather… mediocre. There was almost no flair to them, maybe the lady with long hair and the kid with the two toned skin but to them, they just looked boring. Especially that one in pure beige. Though they have to admit, they did laugh a smidgen when the lady pulled up that video.

And then the thought of being from a video game shoved itself into their mind.

We skipped this before, and we're skipping it again. Ain't no one wanna talk about the implications of being even more fake than they already were. The fact that the world they know is totally fictional, created by some higher beings they've never met, is  _ way _ too much of a headache. Okay? Okay.

They held up the brochure to the camera, stealing a glance at its letters and just not knowing what gobbledygook was on it. "Can anyone read this?"

The lady with long hair squinted at the camera. "Gerefrumple lapple dapple- I have no idea what this says!"

DJSS huffed, crushing up the bottom of the papers. "Well I guess we're on the same page then!"

"That’s in German. I think he's somewhere in Germany or somewhere where they speak a form of German," The guy in beige said.

German? What the fuck's a German? "A what?"

From there, the conversation devolved and the group eventually went on to figure out where everyone else was. They won't admit it, but they did a double take at Eve's off handed remark about enacting revenge on Canada and that they tried to read the newspaper Green held up.

While being mentally checked out a little, they did ask with everyone bombarding the allies about how exactly they're going to find them, only for the call to be cut short. They groaned, resting their head on their wrists. Eventually, the man with slicked back hair came around, sitting down opposite to them.

"Ugh, what do you want?"

He pointed up at the new holes in the ceilings. "You're helping me fix that."

-

They soon learned that the man with slicked back hair was named Ludwig, and the one with silver hair was his older brother Gilbert. Gilbert was helping with fixing because he broke a chair and barrel. Though while leaving the pub, the same thing happened with DJSS as what happened to all the other NSRtists. Everyone in the vicinity, who were very  _ very  _ intoxicated mind you, screamed their fucking lungs out and evacuated the place. Screams of 'Oh my god what the fuck is that', 'Nope nope nope nope', and just actual screaming rang out of the building as they ran. Good for them if it wasn't for the fact that they destroyed an entire fucking wall in doing so.

"Scheiße," said Gilbert.

"I'm not fixing that," DJSS said dryly.

-

DJSS's eating of an ice cream was promptly cut off by Ludwig slapping it out of their hands. "Rude."

"That was the most extremely horrifying way of eating something that I have ever seen. Please, for the sake of my sanity, never eat in front of me again." Ludwig turned back around before hammering some nails in. "And stay on task!"

-

"How is he even in that position." DJSS and Ludwig stared at Gilbert, who was twisted in such a way that his spine looked broken. Gilbert himself had fallen off the roof, his torso contorted to twist completely around. "Looks painful."

"It's either adrenaline, nation status, or he's too fucking hammered to feel it." Ludwig patted DJSS's shoulder. "C'mon, we still have a floor, or ceiling, to fix."

DJSS leaned out the window, however it seemed they leaned too far. They leaned so far that they fell forward out the window. They landed head first onto Gilbert's stomach, bounced off that, and landed in a flower stand. That splintered into 5 million pieces while DJSS'S helmet shattered open, spitting out the eldritch horror of space into the sky, painting it into night.

"OW MY DRESDEN."

"OW MY FACE."

"OH SWEET HOLY MOTHER MARY PERM JACK SWEETUMS WHAT THE SHIT IS THAT."

"VE LUDWIG HELP IT'S NIGHTTIME NOW WHAT THE PASTA."

Ludwig took one good look out the window, hearing the screams and screeches of his civilians, looked down, looked up, shook his head, and went to sleep.

-

"It's been night time all day."

Gilbert, who for the record, was still twisted up, his arms bending ways that shouldn’t be, turned his head to a clock. Ludwig moved him into the pub. "It's supposed to be noon. Or maybe midnight. I don’t know."

DJSS was tapping up their helmet, the space gunk flowing out of the injury freely. "Time is an illusion. Reality is a hologram. Buy my music."

"What?"

"What." DJSS wiggled their head. "Anyways, buy my music."

Gilbert scoffed. "I don't know who you are."

They huffed. "You should. Who even  _ are you _ ?"

Gilbert laughed, snapping out of his mangled position. "Who am I?  _ Who am I?  _ What are you even  _ saying _ ? I am the AWESOME GILBERT THAT'S WHO. WHO ARE YOU?"

"I. AM. DJ SUBATOMIC SUPERNOVA. And what have _you_ done with your life that should make me care?" DJSS shot back.

"Hah!" Gilbert threw his head back. "I AM THE AWESOME PRU- Wait I shouldn't- I AM GILBERT. THERE IS NO NEED FOR YOU TO KNOW WHAT I'VE DONE WITH MY LIFE. I AM JUST. THAT.  **_AWESOME_ ** ."

"Oh poppycock…" DJSS crossed their arms and jumped onto an undestroyed table. "I am DJ Subatomic Supernova. I control 20% of an entire city and provide it energy to run it!"

"Well  _ I _ control 30% of this country! Ludwig has the rest! Which is 10 percent more than you and is a bigger place than a city! So hah!"

"So? Your brother still has  _ 70% _ which is 40 more than you  _ and  _ he's younger. If anything,  _ he  _ should be bragging not you." DJSS chuckled then let Gilbert's information sink in. "Wait-"

"At least Malaysia knows how to put something good out for once. Al ranted to me about this  _ hot new cool game  _ he made and they both forced me to play it! Granted it was fun, but still! I don't think your ego can even hold a candle to what I-"

"WILL YOU TWO SHUT YOUR BRATWURSTS BEFORE I GO DOWN THERE AND DO IT FOR YOU?"

-

"How long has it been?" Ludwig and DJSS were staring at the night sky following Gilbert, who had gotten himself sad drunk and was currently running in a field outside the village.

Ludwig brought up his wrist with no watch. "6 hours."

"Lotta stars."

"You  _ made  _ them," Ludwig snarked, then sighed. "I don't even know how you managed to do that."

DJSS flicked at Ludwig's shirt collar. "Music."

"YOU WEREN'T EVEN- nevermind…" Ludwig pinched the bridge of his nose, his face running over old wrinkles that were long used before. "This makes as much sense as when my boyfriend's grandpa's ghost visited me in the middle of the night to rant about ladies."

"That sounds like a horrible time."

The sound of running brought the two's attention to Gilbert who was obviously running, but he was running  _ back  _ at them. He looked panicked, his eyes wide and pointing up to the sky.

Failing to know what was wrong, the two looked up at the sky to see a small yet  _ very  _ luxurious plane gunning it right where they were standing. Maybe if you had hawk eyes, you'd see a very sleepy pilot and two very panicked people in the cockpit. 

Ludwig blinked. "Is that a..."

"I think that's a plane," DJSS finished.

The closer something gets to you, the easier it will be to see the detail, but uh… Bad news! It's a plane that's getting closer! Obviously, as none of them wanted to die today, the two booked it out of the plane's way that was barreling towards them, near dodging part of the landing gear. The plane slowed to a halt, its engines softening into a rumble. It actually took a good while for anything else to happen.

Then the plane's door busted open and a ladder fell before them. It was limp, merely being small cylinders tied together by two ropes. Down came 3 people: a kid with grey hair who hung onto the side of the ladder, a man with a backpack held onto the back of said ladder, and Tatiana, who was climbing down like a normal person.

"Ah, DJ Subatomic Supernova, there you are."

The man scratched the back of his head. "Woah, convenient." His cat eyes widened. "Isn't it supposed to be like 3 in the afternoon here?"

The kid scoffed, rubbing their eyes. "Convenient? Sure." They pointed at DJSS. "Hey you! You’re lucky we landed right where you were. You didn't even send Tati here a text! We would’ve like died, reincarnated, and died again searching this entire fucking country before we found you!"

Tatiana shifted her eyes. "Wait, did Carmen seriously start flying to Germany  _ before _ we got the address?"

Bob's eyes widened. Pulling out a paintball gun from his bag, he frantically yelled, "Uh, YOUR THINKING WRONG. NYEH." Then bonked her on the head with it.

"I am unfazed as to where you got that."

DJSS waved that away in favor of calling attention to the plane. "If it’s any case, will we be going now? Because I'm not dealing any longer with…" They gestured to the field, where Ludwig's brother was downing a lot of beer in a panic. "That."

"Gilbert!" In an effort to stop his brother, Ludwig grabbed a nearby rock and chucked it and him. It hit but the man did not stop. "Verdammt!"

"Don't worry; I got this." Bob said.

"Wait no-" He fired off three shots, nailing the albino twice in the back and DJSS once in the face. It did stop him but not without pain. It didn't get better when the resounding screams caused Bob to shoot another few rounds at the guy.

"ARGH, MY FACE."

"OH! OH IT HURTS SO MUCH WORSE NOW."

"THAT WAS MY BROTHER. WHY DID YOU SHOOT HIM?"

Everyone winced and Bob lowered the paintball gun, putting it back into his bag, his pupils paper thin. "Okay, I think it's time for me to leave the country."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was the most difficult chapter make and I wasn't happy with it when I first wrote it so I rewrote it. DJSS is a difficult character for me to write so I mostly just did wacky scenarios.  
> We get another filler chapter kinda since it's mostly just shenanigans in Germany. A lot of talking in that one with some maybe confusing stuff(the ABCD humans have been crazy derailed from their initial concepts okay). After that we switch to what 1010's been doing in South Korea. I'm excited for that.


	6. Duck Boats

“And that, my readers, is probably what happened with DJ Subatomic Supernova.” Carmen sat back against nothing. Frankly, she looked like quite the mess: unbrushed hair sticking out at all angles, her eyes' spark flickering and twitching, and the way she moved was like if you had no bones.

Anyone who was poor enough to listen to her, which was everyone, was quiet. It took Yinu piping up to break it. “Well, that was kinda sorta maybe not… good.”

Eve tapped her fingers together. “Yeah, with exception of that last part, that story was mostly not great but not entirely terrible. DJ’s characterization there wasn’t really that accurate. Seemed more mellowed.”

“Ah..!” Carmen slapped her forehead, surprising most. “Of course! I put in 2 straight men as the main focus and the funny guy as a minor character. The comedy suffered as a result! Augh...” She hit her head a couple more times, coiling in place and scrunching her hair. “Wah, egotistical characters are not my forte...”

“Um...” Mother darted her eyes left and right. “Maybe it has to do with you passing out multiple times. Midway. Through your story?”

Eve quickly shot that down. “No, sleep deprivation tends to make your art better because your body wants sleep so the mind tells them that they might as well finish this thing we need to do while you’re awake. It also makes it frustrating when you’re doing it with a clear mind and it comes out like trash.” 

She looked over at Carmen, who was nodding her head, though it was hard to tell if she was sleepy or agreeing with Eve. It was much clearer when Carmen dropped her head onto the floor for a second before shooting back up. “Or maybe not.”

"Look, that was my best at them. I'm o-" Carmen slammed her head back onto the floor and it seemed that she won't be getting up anytime soon.

Avio groaned. "See that's why we have this one to make up for it. Whoever spawned whatever cra- ca- carp that came out of Carmen's mouth is trying to make up for that disaster of a chapter."

"It's not like anyone is gonna read that one anyway," Bob added, pulling out a rolled up ladder. "It's an old draft that took way too long to get revised." He faced Tatiana. "You coming? I doubt they remember who I am."

She sighed. "Might as well."

Diego dashed past the both of them, descending down the ladder. "Me too!"

Tatiana stood there, making incomprehensible noises and jerking her hands around before finally giving up and going down the ladder.

-

"Carm! Get the plane ready! I'm getting banned from Germany!" Bob slammed his hand onto the plane floor, spooking everyone. He scrambled up and to his left, shoving spare alcohol into his near bottomless bag.

Avio glanced from her phone and scoffed. "Ugh, but you're already banned in India." 

"Pretty sure I- hey, the sky's day." DJSS swiveled their head 180° and back mid-ladder climb while Bob started speaking again. "Anyways, I gotta- Oh right. Pilot down."

Mother nervously chuckled from where she sat, shutting a book. "Maybe we can just wake her up? You can stay in here too if you're so worried about Germany banning you..?" The more she talked, the more confused she was. She shook her head. "We'll just wake her up and then we'll head to… South Cornea..?"

"South Korea?" Eve presented.

"Yes. There."

Bob rubbed at his face, his sharp nails scratching at his eyelids. "Uh, South Korea is a 12 hour flight without stopping." He swirled around in place, catching a glimpse of DJSS mulling over alcohol. "If we leave now, we could run a VERY high risk of crashing in a country we REALLY do not want to crash into, crashing into the ocean just shy of South Korea, or just crashing in general and dying."

Eve sharply inhaled. "Yeah that's… yeah that's not good." 

Mother darted her eyes. "Maybe we'll just enjoy Germany until she wakes up."

-

"Hi!" A man in auburn hair popped out of nowhere, shoving a plate in her face. "Want some pasta?"

Now, normally, a person wouldn't just take some free pasta. Especially since this was the only man in the building she was in that she could see. Granted the building was missing a wall, but this was like the only other person that people did not scream at or run away from her, so Tatiana might as well have accepted it.

"Sure…" she said, taking the plate slowly from his hands and then a fork when he offered. The fork scraped against the plate and the two made half(?) eye-contact (the man had his eyes closed for whatever fucking reason). Her eyes darted at the man and the pasta, and Tatiana painstakingly ate it.

She blinked. It was actually good. Very good in fact. Except...

"What's in this?"

The auburn man gleamed. "Just some green and red peppers with pasta sauce!"

Another man, also Italian, walked in, yelling at the other. "Fratello! We only have chili peppers and hot sauce!"

"Oh!" the auburn man beamed. "Oh, then I guess that's what's in the pasta!"

The other man narrowed his eyes, pointing. "Miss, you are on fire."

And Tatiana was. Specifically her hair. The fire flickered and raged quietly upon her head.

"Miss, now the ceiling is on fire."

Tatiana did not answer.

"MISS!?"

-

"Thank you mister!" Yinu beamed at the candy vendor. Her mama had gone into a store to go to the bathroom and gave her some money to spend. She eagerly unwrapped the candy to take a bite when she bit into nothing. "Hey!"

Yinu hastily glanced over her hands to see where the candy had gone, and found a smug little squirrel holding it. Its fat chubby cheeks and chonky body accentuated its smug expression.

Yinu gasped. "YOU."

In a blink of an eye, she dashed for the creature, narrowly missing its tail. She scoffed and turned dramatically. The squirrel laughed holding the candy, nomming on the stick. Yinu balled her hands into fists.

"OH IT'S ON."

-

DJSS looked to be glaring down at Carmen, who passed out on an inflatable bed. They gave an experimental kick to her and she simply mumbled about onsens. Bob kicked the mini fridge he got from his bag closed, sighing. He chucked the whiskey glasses and napkins across a table that he also brought out, plopping himself down and pouring a looooooooooooooot of alcohol. A tap of nails on cheap plastic rattled rhymically for a moment. A sip was made and a hissy gasp sent. 

"So," Bob started, scraping the side of his nail on the glass. "How was Germany?"

"Uh… terrible," DJSS put out. They swiveled their wrists before deciding to sit with Bob. A glass was slid over to them and DJSS set it aside. "Really bad actually. You shot me in the face."

"And that other guy."

"Yeah him too but also my face."

-

"What's this?" Eve leaned back to read the sign. "Duck boats? Why would you drag me here?"

"Get in: we're gonna talk," Diego simply replied, slipping the ferry dude a 20 from Eve's wallet. The wallet was chucked into the boat along with Eve. Despite being pretty shrimpy looking, the kid was strong.

"Hey, was that my-" Before she could get another word out, Diego started rowing the duck boat and both were soon in the middle of a, frankly really fucking big, lake.

-

If Avio's horrified face wasn't enough to tell you what hell Yinu had gone through, her mother was even worse for wear. More specifically, both ladies were covered in scratches, Mother even moreso and very suspiciously much taller than she was than when she left the plane. Yinu on the other hands had her hair a mess, a lollipop stuck to her face, and ragged clothing. A squirrel climbed by and Yinu tried to chase it, only to be stopped by Mother grabbing the collar of her clothes.

"What the actual frick fracking fudge." Avio bit in her ice cream. 

Mother let out a very exasperated sigh. "We fought a squirrel."

Avio simply blinked and reached into the ice cream cart beside her, the shopkeeper protesting.

"Hey, you need to pa-" He was soon cut off by Avio elbowing the man harshly in the chin. He made a sound of pain and collapsed behind the cart. Avio kicked the man's leg for good measure.

Not even bothering to say anything about that, Avio twisted around and gave the ice creams to the mother-daughter duo.

-

"I'm just saying that one of the few reasons I built the satellite was to satiate my growing worry and fear of falling into irrelevancy due to how tiny I am compared to my entire family and prove my own self worth."

Bob blinked and took a swig of whiskey. "Okay. Okay. But consider. Sound can’t travel through space."

DJSS's head wriggled rapidly, their elbows causing an audible clank against the table. "Oh my. OH MY GOODNESS I FORGOT THAT  **SPACE** IS A  **VACUUM** . HOW DID I FORGET THAT SPACE  **IS A VACUUM** ?"

Bob shrugged.

DJSS started ranting. "ALL THAT TIME AND EFFORT PUT INTO THE SPEAKERS JUST SO THAT NO ONE CAN EVEN BEGIN TO HEAR IT EVEN 5 FEET FROM DAMN THING. OH MY. I THOUGHT THOSE PLUTONIANS WERE STUPID BUT, I, DJ SUBATOMIC SUPERNOVA MAYBE EVEN WORSE."

"Eh…" Bob looked to his left, scratching his nails against the textured table. "On the bright side, there's probably a world where you  _ don't  _ fall into that dilemma..? Question mark?"

"What?"

“Uh… Carmen!” Bob grabbed a nearby bottle and chucked it at Carmen. She was already waking up but the bottle throw helped her come to.

“Hm, wha-”

“Carmen! What would a world be like if DJSS held no fear of irrelevancy?” Bob yelled.

“Hurtful...”

Carmen rubbed at her eyes and held her hands to her temples. “Well, if we’re going there… uh. Wow okay, you gave me a difficult one. DJ Supperplatter Supertrial’s world...”

DJSS twisted their head back and forth from the two. “That isn’t even close to my name.”

Bob dug his nails into the table and moved them to create a slit into it. “Author lady doesn’t like typing out your whole name.”

Carmen let out a long sigh. “I guess the whole world is screwed? I can only think that like the deej turns into some eldritch abomination and that screws over the world like some Lovecraftian god.”

"Wait what."

“Huh.” The slit in the table split open and a bunch of tentacles sprawled out. There was a horrifying roar and the tentacles grabbed DJSS by the face. They started screaming. Bob shrugged, walking over to Carmen. "I guess that makes sense."

"Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow." The tentacles were then slamming the DJ up and down the floor and ceilings of the plane. "Ow. Ow. Ow, that's my face. Ow. Ow."   
Bob grabbed the bottle as the tentacles belted DJSS out the plane door. "CHILD, HELP ME OUT."

Carmen yawned. "Double edged sword man. You're either getting fluffy family dynamics or psychological horror."

-

"I hate this. Did I mention that I hate this?" Eve's legs were getting tired from rowing the duckboats. The lake was way bigger than you'd think that you actually hated yourself just standing in it.

"Eh." 

"Diego, could you at least  _ try  _ to steer the boat? Please?" She sweetly smiled at the gamer. She grimaced. "Look, if you weren't going to steer, why bring me to the duck boats in the first place? You said we were going to talk."

Diego opened their mouth, then closed it. They shook their head, trying to gesture. This went on for a few more seconds before they could actually say something. "I don't like how you look at me."

"What?" Her legs stopped moving and Diego shrugged.

"Okay maybe I should elaborate: I don't like how you look at me  **because** of the creepy smiling."

"Oh." Her eyes were wide.

"You're doin' it right now."

If this was like an animation or whatever, we'd zoom out to showcase Eve creepily smiling. Use your imagination I guess. She immediately frowned. "Oh."

She blinked and darted her eyes. "Was it like unnerving kind of smiling or manic-"

"Manic full blown."

She clicked her tongue. "Ah,  _ that's _ why my face hurts. I'll stop doing that."

Silence passed by. Diego pulled their legs down. "That was easier than I thought."

Eve shrugged. "I know. We should probably get back."

"Right."

They both put their feet onto the pedals and started to move. Then the pedals began to lock in, stopping them to make a rotation.

"Ah fuck."

-

"What happened to you?" Eve looked Tatiana up and down, the CEO covered in pasta sauce. 

Tatian merely stared, the fire from behind her still trailing from the building. She shifted her eyes left and right, then settled on just blankly staring. "I ate some spicy pasta."

The others leaned over to look at the damage done to the probably now very defunct pub. Shouts of Italian and German were heard, maybe if they had a German dub or something they could understand it, but it just sounded like word vomit right now. Neverminding that a wall was completely gone from the building, it was also on fire. VERY VERY much on fire. One Italian man also had his hair on fire with another, even angrier, Italian man shouting at him.

Everyone looked at Tatiana and then the building back and forth a few times, her poker face leaving the slightest bit of embarrassment.

They all simultaneously blinked before deciding to just walk back to the plane.

-

"You're back already? It's night." Carmen whipped her head side to side at the artists. Champagne was poured into a pristine glass and the bottle itself was downed immediately by her.

We’ve skipped a lot of time so let’s recap everyone. Yinu and her mother were still messed up from the squirrel. Eve and Diego were soaked in water and seaweed. Somehow. Even though seaweed shouldn’t be in a lake in Germany. Tatiana was covered in a loooooooooooot of pasta sauce and her hair was still on fire. Avio was still eating her ice cream. DJSS was currently taping up their face AGAIN. Bob was sewing up the tear in the table. 

"Uh…" Yinu hopped up to the lady and tilted her head. "How long have you been up?"

"Eh, like 8 hours, tops."

Eve narrowed her eyes. "We've been out for about... 12 hours."

Carmen snarked, drinking what's left of the champagne bottle. "Yeah, and?"

DJSS leaned over to Bob. "Are we sure this lady knows how to fly a plane?"

"Oh she does," Bob responded curtly, slapping away hands at the tear. "She just has a really bad sleep schedule."

Mother went through a variety of facial expressions, her hands shaking trying to process pretty much everything currently happening before her. "I'm feeling a lot unsafe here."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Carmen is referring to the old draft of the last chapter in the beginning.  
> So, like I said last time, this was a filler chapter. Next up is 1010 and that ended up being 5000 words. After that is team Sayu and I legit have no idea what's gonna go on in that one. But I made a commitment and I need to finish this. It would seem in bad taste. My motivation has waned for this fic but I gotta do what I gotta do.


End file.
